Parents’ Survival Guide to the Summer Holidays

How to survive the school holidays!

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Lets face it, it’s inevitable that if you have more than one child there will be arguing and by arguing I mean lots of arguing!

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In this scenario in order to stay sane, we advise all parents and guardians to start a separate argument with them on what ever subject necessary. Watch them retreat together, and in no time at all they will be playing quietly away from you!

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So you’re only on day two of the holidays, and already you have repeated yourself a hundred times,

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Perfectly you stories advise that you make eye contact with that little person/persons in question, pretend you have lost your voice and start miming your words and dancing around very erratically, this action is 1- bound to get their attention and 2- amuse them if only for 10 seconds. Both of which may get the desired outcome.

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So you find yourself locked in the bathroom for some peace, and look around you and see clothing, used toothpaste in the sink (which is a good thing to clean taps and plug holes so we are told) and if you have boys there’s a faint smells of pee, and the toilet seat is up AGAIN!-

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In this scenario Perfectly you stories advise that you 1- get out of the toilet, and 2- pour a glass of wine, after all it’s 6 o’clock somewhere in the world…right?

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So you cleaned the house for what seems like days and everyday seems to be like groundhog day-

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In this scenario Perfectly You Stories advise you to simply lower your cleaning standards….

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No lower then again… and again…

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there that’s it now you are getting it.

So the dreaded words “I’m bored what can I do” are uttered after spending the day entertaining them-

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Now there are 2 scenarios here!

Firstly you could: make play dough, get their board games out, play in the garden, take them to the park, bake cakes, play hide and seek, play with the Wii, Xbox, play station…there are a number of options if you get our drift

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or alternatively, and here’s your chance to really let loose! You could have a rant about how they should count themselves lucky that they have electronic equipment and tell them you didn’t when you were growing up, and you had to entertain yourself. Explain that the internet is a new thing, and you didn’t have it growing up, explain that you didn’t have a 1000 TV channels you had four channels, and that you had one TV in the house not a TV in every room… it is at this point that hopefully when you look down at them that they have got bored with what you have been saying, and are happily playing with one of their toys.

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We wish you a happy and sane summer holiday from the perfectly you stories team
Perfectlyyoustories.co.uk

Halls of Mirrors

Bloody hell.
Maybe it is a peoples revolution after all.
But it needed outsiders to spearhead it.

So gonna stick my neck out and say that Theresa May is probably about as outside as you can get while still having a chance thru Westminster channels of power.

For all the open criticisms of politicians for style over substance – along comes ” no nonsense” May (a label already tilted against her and reflecting the views of those doing the reporting i.e. the self serving political media class) and suddenly journalists are cogitating over her different “style” of leadership and the number of times I hear “no (bloody) nonsense” its as if they are hell bent on pouring cement onto this image before it has even fully formed – such is the obsession in media over speculation and its inevitable push into fact thru sheer overwhelming power of repetition.

Her diabetes is testament to the fact that she will not suffer fools gladly.She has not got time for idle frivolities and for some media luvvies who are actually surprised that she won given her lack of mates…well that may be the case but that,I daresay,could be the Tories’…and even Westministers saving grace – that it is precisely being outside the “club” that gives her a chance with the wider electorate.

Because- a set of politicians still dont seem to have fully understood-it is precisely the self perpetuating Westminster club mentality of propping each other up (or at least the perception of it) that is responsible for peoples appetite to cut their own noses to spite their face and stick two fingers at anything that resembles privileged power.

And putting Theresa May in power might be the closest Westminster can get to trying to acknowledge an “outsider” who is credible .

And Leadsom did seem prone to a few gaffes – and we’ve already had enough of those from the Brexit side anyway.

Anyone who shouts about needing to feel good about ourselves again …sounds to me like they are following orders from career marketing advisors – this increasingly shallow soundbiting reflex that gives away the newcomers.

You have to be old (or experienced) before you stop giving a shit about what everyone is telling you to say (thanks to Kenneth Clarke for suspiciously convenient slip up by Sky of off the cuff comments about Tory hopefuls’ competencies)

So if there were ever a time for a quiet outsider to silently shatter the glass facade from the inside – my money is on her.

Revolution eh?

Rock on Nats…